Awhile

It’s been awhile since we’ve spoken, you and I.
I’m having a heard time speaking, or even lowering myself to the ground.
I’m paralyzed, nothing seems to work. My thoughts are turning but the words won’t come out.

It’s been awhile since we’ve spoken, you and I.
My vie quotidienne is one of nonsense. Sometimes, anyway.
I’m not quite sure what my purpose is anymore.
I don't trust myself.
Wake up, school, eat, work, sleep. Wake up, school, eat, work, sleep. Again, and again.
Where am I going? "Running in circles and chasing tails"
That's what it feels like.

I’m a You-follower, or at least I try to be. I really do, but I’m fighting something everyday. Have you noticed? Remember what happened today, yesterday, the day before, a few weeks back, the year before?
Big jump forward. Five gigantic steps back.
I need consistency. Please take the cup. I can’t anymore.
They tell me I won’t succeed. They tell me to grow-up.
What does that even mean?

I ran away. I ran away to hear you speak more clearly. Isn’t that silly?

It’s been awhile since we’ve spoken, you and I.